Saturday 13 July 2013

The unknown next year

I don't really know what I'll be doing next year.  I have some plans, but there's no guarantee that they'll work out.  I have to admit that I'm a little bit jealous of my husband because he knows exactly what he'll be doing for the next three and a half years.  He'll be continuing to study at Bible college, finishing off his degree.  These remaining three and a half years while we're still in this new city that isn't home yet, I have no certainty about what I'll be doing with my days in any of that time. 

I've been telling everyone that I plan to do a one year diploma at Bible college and then apply for Masters of Clinical Psychology at one of the universities.  But it's a very competitive, two-stage entry process based on honours grade and an interview.  There's no certainty that I'll get in: I certainly didn't get anywhere near the top of my class in honours year and I have no idea what to say in the interview.  If I don't get in then I'll probably do a counselling course at TAFE or a Biblical counselling course at one of the other Bible colleges (because our college only offers theological degrees). 

But I don't even know if I'm cut out to be a psychologist or a counsellor.  I keep wondering to myself, what if I get halfway through studying the course and I discover that I can't handle this kind of career?  Won't I have wasted time and money that could have been spend more productively?  Will a career in psychology allow for a hiatus into motherhood down the track?

I'm also really enjoying what I'm studying at Bible college at the moment, and the diploma is set up so that students can easily transfer into the degree for second year if they want to continue studying.  In some ways I'd love to continue studying at college, with J and the friends we've made there.  This is the familiar and safe, and therefore easy, option of what I could do next year.  But shouldn't I at least try psychology or counselling? 

I was telling a friend who I pray with about all of this and she encouraged me to trust God and his plans.  She is in a similar situation, not knowing what she'll be doing next year, and has been for a while with one-year contracts common in her profession.  But she has time and again seen God's faithfulness to her in providing opportunities at times when all she can do is trust him. 

Whatever the unknown next year holds for me, I know that God has a plan, he has prepared good things for me to do in my life and I know that I can trust him with everything.  I want to use my life to serve him and I know he will honour and reward that commitment. 

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